This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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