he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I'm having to shit out rocks
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
