I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
