exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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