I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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