Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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