Tell her she can't have a vagina
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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