ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
