Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
