I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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