The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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