end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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