white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
