She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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