I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
