Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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