I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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