Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize