in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize