Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
