um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
God, you're like boner-b-gone
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
