ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
