once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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