see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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