Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize