we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
