Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
be right there i have to get my cape
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
