May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
i need some magic done to my vagina
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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