She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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