pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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