My room smells like vodka and shame
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
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