what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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