there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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