so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
