tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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