you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
