were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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