you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
No subtext here. People are naked.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
