We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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