if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
