I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
