I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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