I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
