Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
