I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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