clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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