laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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