your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
