oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
