I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
