WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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