you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Randomize
