she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
