We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I love you. Go after that dick
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
