remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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