It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
