I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
