I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
