she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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