bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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