return my video game
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I touched a dick in church today
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
