my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
