You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
