did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
