You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
